Slovník vodáckých pojmů

AHOJ

Vodácký pozdrav. Samotné slovo je zkratkou z latinského Ad HOnoris Jesus, což znamená Ke slávě Ježíšově a odedávna se jím zdravili námořníci na celém světě.
Říci vodákovi slušně po křesťansku Dobrý den je neodpustitelným zločinem

BORT

Bok lodi. Někdy je využíván jako záchranná brzda. Výzvy jako Zahoď pádlo a chyť se bortu se smějí používat pouze v případě nejvyšší nouze.

DÉŠŤ

Voda, doplňující vodákovy zážitky o promočení shora, takže mu přestane být líto, že už je mokrý zdola.

DÍRA

Nedílná součást prakticky každé lodi. Prasklina v trupu, nejčastěji umístěná pod zádí, kterou do lodi stále teče. Lodí, které nejsou vybaveny DÍROU je minimum.

HÁČEK

Člen posádky sedící vpředu. Ovládá příď lodi, dře třikrát více než kormidelník a těžce nese, že je tomuto podřízen.
Rozeznáváme tyto druhy háků:
a) Háček-melancholik. Éterická dívka s tzv. vnitřní hloubkou. Hodně čte, ale málo pádluje. Na lodi většinou dumá, přemýšlí, kam běží voda. Méně už, kam běží loď. Při výčitkách kormidelníka, po srážce s kamenem a nad trhlinou v lodi pláče. Její pohyby jsou vznešené a pomalé. Proto jde všem typům kormidelníků na nervy a po dvou hodinách jízdy v nich probouzí nevyléčitelnou skepsi.
b) Háček-flegmatik. Ve spojení s cholerickým kormidelníkem vytváří ideální dvojici. Kormidelník vře jak váza přeplněná, hrůzně cvaká chrupem a bubnuje pěstmi do prsou, zatímco háček většinou spí nebo chytá mouchy. Oběma cesta mile ubíhá a rádi na ni vzpomínají. Plačící kormidelník-melancholik naopak flegmatického háčka otráví a probouzí v něm pudový odpor.
c) Háček-sangvinik. Tento typ háčků je na našich řekách nejvyhledávanější. S háčkem-sangvinikem je pohoda. Směje se, zpívá, nad vším žasne, vše se mu líbí, nikdy si nezoufá a kormidelníkovi lichotí. Proto je každý kormidelník ochoten zaplatit za získání háčka-sangvinika jakoukoli cenu.
d) Háček-cholerik. Obávaný, avšak atraktivní typ. Se strhujícím temperamentem pádluje, zuří a vymotává loď z vrbiček, pokřikuje, trhá sebou a bez výstrahy vyskakuje z lodi. Při výtkách sil klíč je pod rohožkou banky nějšího kormidelníka hryže pádlo nebo bok lodi. Je schopen se snést pouze s kormidelníkem-flegmatikem, kterému háčkovo poskakování nevadí a který jej čas od času lhostejně spíchne pádlem do vody.
e) Háček-kecálek. Je pronásledován fixní ideou, že řízení lodi rozumí přinejmenším tak dobře jako kormidelník. Proto neposlouchá, odmlouvá, arozhodne-li se kormidelník objet kámen vlevo, háček nasupeně řídí loď vpravo. Tím se narušuje rovnováha na lodi a posádka často bývá předmětem posměchu. Kormidelník postižený háčkem-kecálkem se proto snaží co nejdříve se tohoto zbavit.

HYDROBOTY

Obuv vhodná pro pohyb v řece. Opravdovým vodákům nesmějí hydroboty nikdy vyschnout a tak si je musejí přes zimu neustále namáčet v umyvadle.

JEZERO

Vodní nádrž, s jejímž zbudováním neměl člověk žádnou práci

KOMÁŘI

V teplých obdobích roku stálí průvodci vodáků. Když se objeví, vodáci je vítají máváním a plácáním se po obličeji.

LOĎÁK

Též bágl neboli lodní sáček, pytel z impregnované látky velikosti až dospělého muže. Pro pokročilé stačí velikost nedospělého šimpanze. Oba typy jsou opatřeny nahoře šňůrou, kterou se pytel zadrhuje, aby dovnitř nenatekla voda při převrácení lodi a aby z něho nepadaly věci při převrácení pytle. Do pytle se nastrkají úplně všechny věci, které vodák vlastní. Na dno klademe krém na opalování, retox na komáry a svačinu. Obecně vzato, všechny věci, které vodák zrovna nutně potřebuje, najde právě na dně loďáku.

MOŘE

Jezero nebývalých rozměrů, obsahující vodu nevhodnou k pití.

ODLIV

Časově omezené období, kdy je moře kupodivu o něco menší, než bylo předtím

OTVÍRÁK KONZERV

Nástroj, díky němuž rybáři a vodáci aspoň občas ochutnají rybí maso.

PŘÍLIV

Časově omezené období, kdy je moře kupodivu o něco větší, než bylo předtím

PROUD

U vody je znám jak proud jednosměrný, tak proměnlivý, tedy střídavý. O výskytu proudu třífázového nebyly zatím podány přesvědčivé důkazy.

RYBÍ KONZERVA

prostor, ohraničený na všech stranách plechem, v němž se zpravidla vyskytuje aspoň kousek ryby.

UZEL

Nejen účelné spojení vláknitých materiálů, ale i útvar, který záhadně vzniká sám od sebe.

204 thoughts on “Slovník vodáckých pojmů

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